Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Piece of My Mind Volume 2


This morning Hattie had tubes put in her ears and all went well medically. On a professional level, I am not quite as sure. There was a nurse who was helping us get started with the process. She was talking about how Hattie might feel when she woke up after the procedure. She said, "since you did not MAKE HER" you won't know how she will react. (Hmmm, so if we HAD made her we would know how she would react?) Next, she said, " My apologies, but it is like adopting an older dog, you just don't know the background and etc." Again, am I to assume this means that if Hattie had a horrible background she would react worse to medical procedures? I am seriously blown away by the way this woman presented her thoughts.

Tonight, as I was rocking Hattie and giving her her bottle, I was thinking of what I would say if I wrote a letter to the Surgery Center letting them know about this episode. I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing as all of a sudden the perfect phrase popped into my head. (why was it exactly 12 hours too late??) I SHOULD have said, "Oh, is that dog YOURS or did you adopt him?"

Ah, well. I tend to feel it is best to be polite and to take the opportunity to educate someone gently if they say such remarks but whew, I am seriously going to have to be ready with some quick responses to deal with people who call themselves professional yet have a lot to be desired in plain old people skills.

I keep wondering what I should have done? Again, I think this all goes back to education. People need to be aware and educated about adoption and the lingo. If you are curious and feel a great need to ask a question, please don't say does he/she know her mother or father? Uh, yes, you are looking right at us! Say biological, please. As that is JUST what is is, BIOLOGICAL.

If you see us with our ASIAN baby, don't then assume it is your right to ask if the other kids are OURS or are they adopted, too?? What?? They are our kids, we are their parents. Do we ask you if your fourth child is from you and your husband or you and your boyfriend?

OK, I could keep this up but that is enough for now. Feel free to give feedback!

Don't you think it would have been funny had I really asked that nurse if that dog was HERS or did she adopt him??

I will try and have less attitude next time!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Election Day (and a piece of my mind!!!!!)

Hattie had her first experience voting today. She quite liked it as she was the center of attention. We may as well have been running for something ourselves as we were sure having a "meet and greet" :)

This week is Hayden's birthday, so we are gearing up for a houseful of boys and numerous loaves of pizza bread to be mixed up on Friday night.

We are still waiting to hear the dates of Hattie's surgery.

Now, for a piece of my mind. Hattie and I were at a doctor appointment recently and the nurse was asking questions. "How long has she been home from China?" 6 weeks. "Do you have other children?" Yes. Now, brace yourself....she actually asked me- "are they YOURS or are they ADOPTED?" I was quiet for a minute and fired up, instantly, and responded very sugary, sweetsy, chipper, "They are OURS and they are adopted. (Hmm, still don't know why she even felt a need to ask this question?) She stammered around and was uncomfortable as she realized what she had said and I felt a bit mean as I did not do a thing to make her feel more comfortable. But, what if one of the kids heard someone make a statement like that? WOW. I know people don't mean any harm, but they truly need to think about the impact of what they say. Furthermore, why does giving birth make someone "own" their kids? I am not working this hard to take care of those random kids I picked up in the Target parking lot.....I am working this hard to take care of my kids and it is beyond irritating to be asked such questions. Again, why does it even matter? To us, where they come from matters not-that they are here is all that matters!
Spread the word and don't feel bad to allow someone to be uncomfortable. I am pretty sure she will be thinking twice before she asks that question again......