Hello!
This morning Hattie had tubes put in her ears and all went well medically. On a professional level, I am not quite as sure. There was a nurse who was helping us get started with the process. She was talking about how Hattie might feel when she woke up after the procedure. She said, "since you did not MAKE HER" you won't know how she will react. (Hmmm, so if we HAD made her we would know how she would react?) Next, she said, " My apologies, but it is like adopting an older dog, you just don't know the background and etc." Again, am I to assume this means that if Hattie had a horrible background she would react worse to medical procedures? I am seriously blown away by the way this woman presented her thoughts.
Tonight, as I was rocking Hattie and giving her her bottle, I was thinking of what I would say if I wrote a letter to the Surgery Center letting them know about this episode. I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing as all of a sudden the perfect phrase popped into my head. (why was it exactly 12 hours too late??) I SHOULD have said, "Oh, is that dog YOURS or did you adopt him?"
Ah, well. I tend to feel it is best to be polite and to take the opportunity to educate someone gently if they say such remarks but whew, I am seriously going to have to be ready with some quick responses to deal with people who call themselves professional yet have a lot to be desired in plain old people skills.
I keep wondering what I should have done? Again, I think this all goes back to education. People need to be aware and educated about adoption and the lingo. If you are curious and feel a great need to ask a question, please don't say does he/she know her mother or father? Uh, yes, you are looking right at us! Say biological, please. As that is JUST what is is, BIOLOGICAL.
If you see us with our ASIAN baby, don't then assume it is your right to ask if the other kids are OURS or are they adopted, too?? What?? They are our kids, we are their parents. Do we ask you if your fourth child is from you and your husband or you and your boyfriend?
OK, I could keep this up but that is enough for now. Feel free to give feedback!
Don't you think it would have been funny had I really asked that nurse if that dog was HERS or did she adopt him??
I will try and have less attitude next time!!
Hi Meghan! Thanks for your sweet comment on the blog and yes, I'd love to have you as a neighbor! I bet our boys could spend hours playing together :) You're family is so beautiful and Hattie looks like a very happy and BUSY little girl.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience with the nurse. I'm always baffled by the ignorance of some people. I hope that was your last visit with her. Fortunately, Hattie has you to be a great example of such grace!
Have you ever read the blog Ni Hao Y'all? It was one of the first blogs I ever read and has lots of heartwarming adoption stories. Here's the link if you haven't heard of it already! http://nihaoyall.com/
In regards to your Nashville trip, I suggest some great jeans and lots of fun jewelry. It's a great town and I've had the pleasure of visiting there many times while my husband was in school there. Hope you have a great time!
Happy Easter.